If You're Gonna Leave
by meepette179
Summary: songfic story! disclaimer-not mine, Songs are not mine. please read. NEWLY UPDATED! a little less 16 candles a little more touch me by fall out boy!
1. If You're Gonna Leave

_Maybe i'm the joker_

_Maybe i'm the fool in your eyes _

_Maybe i'm the weak one Maybe i'm a lie in disguise_

_Maybe i'm angry_

_Cause i'm the one whos always wrong _

_Maybe i'm not the one whos so strong_

Olivia left the interrogation room feeling accomplished. They had got the prop to confess in less than 15 minutes. Personal Best! Elliot followed close behind, with his arms crossed tightly over his chest.

She turned smiling," I have to go tell Casey!" She started to skip away when Elliot's hand closed around her wrist. A look of confusion fell over her face, "Elliot?"

The voice inside his head was screaming, '_stop it! You are wrong. You like being her clown_.' he ignored it, "What what that?"

"What was what?"

"Am I supposed to just sit back and twirl my thumbs, maybe juggle some beanbags while you go all bad cop on the perp without me?"

"I had everything under control, he was ignoring you. Didn't want to talk to you."

"Sorry if I didn't believe he was going to confess to you. Thought maybe he would want to talk to someone more like him/"

"You anti-feminist sonuvabitch. This is about you being Mr. Macho?"

Little voice '_Cut it out, Apologize. She is the stronger one. If she was in your position she wouldn't be doing this.' _He didn't say anything he was trying to refrain from saying anything else stupid.

Olivia laughed, "You're pathetic." she turned to walk away again, and again Elliot grabbed her wrist stopping her. She swung around ripping her arm from his grasp. "Touch me again and see what happens."

_But did ya think about it _

_Did ya pull it in and pull out_

_Could you live without me_

_Did you ever really have a doubt_

_But do you understand it baby_

_When you say its over its done_

_Maybe i'm not the one_

"Maybe I should, then you can file a sexual harassment suit! Then we cant be partners!" Elliot shot back.

"Please do, you wouldn't be able to keep you job if I wasn't here. You'd screw up without me checking on you!" she said slowly, annoyed they were even having this conversation.

"No, I'd do better if I didn't have to check up on you. You're the reason Ryan died, then you couldn't even shoot Gitano! You waited for a sniper! You're useless."

"You know that's not what happened!" she yelled in his face fighting back tears. That was one incident she was very self-conscious about. She ignored it the best she could and moved back to her own point. Trying to jab the knife in deeper. "You'd kill the next person who pisses you off in interrogation without me."

"Yeah, maybe you should leave then, go and prove your theory!"

"It's over, our partnership."

"Yeah, it's done."

"I thought I could handle your stupid temper after I came back, maybe im not the one you need!"

"Yeah, and who do I need?"

"A doctor to castrate you! Too much testosterone mixed with too much stubborn pig-headedness."

_So If you're gonna Leave_

_Ya you better get going _

_Cause I ain't wasting no more time_

_What ya did and what ya didn't _

_So if you're gonna leave _

_Ya you better start running_

_Cause I ain't wasting no more time What it might have been _

"I thought you were leaving."

"Standing around and insulting your lack of man-hood is much more fun.

"Get out of here you fucking flat-cheasted bitch!"

Olivia slapped him as hard as she could," I hate you." She walked in furry down the hall.

Elliot yelled after her as he grimaced in pain, "Run away, go ahead! Don't waste all your "precious" time on me! Running away from me seems to be the only thing you're good at besides giving head to drunk bums from bars."

"Fuck you!" she screamed not turning to him.

"No, fuck you!" he called in retaliation.

Fin and Munch stood in the empty squad room listening when Munch said, " I think they need to just fuck each other to release all this stress."

Yeah." Fin agreed.

Olivia flew through the squad room then, causing Fin and Munch to stop talking. They watched her go into Cragen's office and when she came out seconds later her gun and badge were missing from her belt. She stomped toward the exit.

_We can stand on reason_

_We can fight about all the things This isn't for forever_

_This is more than a wedding ring_

_But do you understand it baby_

_When you say its over its done_

_Maybe i'm not the one_

_So If you're gonna Leave_

_Ya you better get going_

_Cause I ain't wasting no more time_

_What I did and what I didn't _

_So if you're gonna leave_

_Ya you better start running_

_Cause I ain't wasting no more time _

"Olivia…" Fin said softly.

She turned to the awkward partners tears brimming in her eyes, "I'm sorry."

"Then don't go." John purposed walking up to her along with Fin.

"I have to. We fight all the time, like old married people. I cant work with that bastard anymore." she explained shaking from anger.

"But…" Fin started but Much interrupted him.

"We'll miss you." he opened his arms offering a hug.

She gave him a small smile and walked into his arms.

Fin rubbed her back soothingly before she left Munch's arms and walked into his own.

"I'm going to miss you guys." She said her final goodbye and left the precinct.

_Whoa did it happen again The things that you wanted _

_for being a friend How did it happen again _

_Just look onward baby _

_cause some day you might need a friend_

Elliot stormed into the room seconds later. John and Fin shot him dirty looks. "What."

"You went through another partner, again." John pointed out.

"She really quit?" he asked shocked.

"Yeah, and she's not coming back" Fin said.

Elliot said nothing.

"Elliot you don't think. What about your future? She is your best friend and she wont be there for you anymore." John sighed, "You fucked up, cause Olivia was the best thing that will ever happen to you."

_So If you're gonna Leave_

_Ya you better get going _

_Cause I ain't wasting no more time_

_What we did and what we didn't _

_So if you're gonna leave _

_Ya you better start running_

_Cause I ain't wasting no more time _

_I ain't wasting no more time What it might have been _

**How could Elliot be so mean???? Anyways I would've posted this earlier but on Saturday I sprained my wrist and it hurt to type til yesterday but yesterday was my birthday. Anyways this will be continued I already got it in my head. Reviews please!!!!**


	2. Shine

**Olivia's POV~~~~**

**Oh the night makes you a star**

**And it holds you cold in its arms You're the one to whom nobody verses I love you**

**Unless you say it first So you lie there holding your breath**

**And its strange how soon you forget That you're like stars**

**They only show up when it's dark**

**Cause they don't know their worth**

Olivia sat in her apartment on the couch with a guy latched onto her neck. Jeremy was his name, and he was an old flame she hadn't seen in a while. She needed him, but only as a distraction.

"You're so beautiful, and unique. My own personal Hailey's Comet." he whispered against her collarbone. He worked at a planetarium so naturally he loved using star metaphors.

Olivia tried not to laugh. It was all bullshit. He wanted sex. Time for the test, "Jeremy, I really missed you."

"I missed you too." he muttered.

"I love you." She told him after raising his head to hers, so they were even.

"Yeah." He acknowledged going to work on her lips.

She gently pushed him away. "DO you love me?" Here comes the lie!

"Yeah, of course." he said breathlessly as he repositioned himself over her and hike the skirt of her dress up.

Olivia let out a breath she was unaware she was holding when he started to drill into her.

She didn't move, she just stared out the window at the stars thinking. Elliot had once compared her to the stars, and when he said it, she had believed him.

MEMORY~

_The car was cold as they sat clutching coffees waiting for their perp to rear his ugly head._

_Elliot was gazing at the stars when he said, "You know what Liv, you're like stars."_

"_How so?" she asked interested._

"_Well, they are bright, different and you can only see them clearly every so often. They have this mystery, no one can solve um."_

END MEMORY~

**And I think you need to stop following misery's lead**

**Shine away shine away shine away**

**Isn't it time you got over how fragile you are We're all waiting Waiting on your supernova**

**Cause that's who you are**

**And you've only begun to shine**

They soon finished with Olivia thinking what the hell was she doing? Trying to be sad? Make herself hurt more?

He left, big surprise.

She took a nice hot shower and gave herself a pep talk, "You're not gonna shatter, Elliot and the job are not your _whole_ life." she needed to get over him. Why did he mean so much?

"Brush you teeth, comb your hair and sparkle!" Was her knew motivation.

There are times when the poets and porn stars align and You won't know who to believe in Well that's a good time to be leaving` And the past knocks on your door And throws stones at your window at 4 in the morning Well maybe he thinks it's romantic He's crazy but you knew that before

She laid in her bed thinking about her job. It was a good idea to leave, right? Things had been shaky lately. She figured when what you would do and what you should do become different things, you should leave and reprioritize.

A know at the door echoes through the apartment. At this time, there were only 3 possibilities; intruder, landlord, or Elliot. She grabbed her off-duty weapon from the bedside-table drawer and heade3d out to the living room.

She looked through the peep hole sighing as she opened it to Elliot and angrily shoving the barrel into his chest. "What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you, Olivia" he said nervously.

"This isn't some teen T.V. special. You cant come here at four in to talk and expect me to forgive you. Especially after what you said! You're a psychotic bastard if you think I wanna talk to you. Other than that, you're just a bastard." She felt accomplished, "Now leave before I shoot you and have Melinda help me clean up the evidence."

He nodded sadly and turned walking back down the hall. She walked into her apartment smiling. She caught a glance at herself in the mirror and her smiled widened even farther if that was possible. She was glowing from pride. This was a new beginning for Olivia Benson.

**And I think you need to stop following misery's lead **

**Shine away Shine away Shine away **

**Isn't it time you got over how fragile you are **

**We're all waiting **

**Waiting on your supernova **

**Cause that's who you are **

**And you've only begun to shine**

**Yeah you've only begun to shine **

**Won`t you shine shine shine shine over shadow **

**Shine shine shine shine over shadow **

**Shine shine shine shine over**

**And I think you need to stop following misery's lead **

**Shine away Shine away Shine away **

**Isn't it time you got over how fragile you are **

**We're all waiting **

**Waiting on your supernova **

**Cause that's who you are **

**And you've only begun to shine**

**Yeah you've only begun to shine**

**Yeah you've only begun to shine**

**Yeah you've only begun to shine**

**

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Okay so this isnt what i thought it would be, and im not sure if im happy with this part but please review i need the help!!! Sonh was Shine by Anna Naylick. She is amazing**


	3. You Could Be Happy

**You could be happy and I won't know**

**But you weren't happy the day I watched you go**

Elliot stalked away from Olivia's apartment slowly, maybe she was happy? She didn't smile when she left but 10 minutes ago when she got him to leave, she smirked. That counts as being happy, right? Some sense of it right?

**all the things that I wished I had not said**

**Are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head**

He wished he could take it all back. His hurtful words were echoing in his head_,_

_You're the reason Ryan died!_

_You're useless!_

_Get out of here you fucking flat-chested bitch!_

_Running away from me seems to be the only thing you're good at besides giving head to drunk bums from bars!_

_No! Fuck you!_

He was such a bastard to her, she had every right to be angry. He wished he could remind her of all the good times they had together, that had been long since forgotten.

**Is it too late to remind you how we were**

**But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur**

_FLASHBACK_

"Hey Liv! Catch!" Elliot called throwing a nerf football across the squad room.

Olivia tossed the paper in her hand onto her desk and ran trying catch the ball, but stopping immediately when Cragen walked out of his office and got hit in the head with it. Olivia suppressed a giggle and pointed to Elliot.

Elliot's mouth dropped open. "Betrayal!'

Olivia smiled, "What are friends for?"

_END FLASHBACK_

**Most of what I remember makes me sure**

**I should have stopped you from walking out the door**

Yeah, they had a good thing going. He shouldn't have said those things, he should've ran right after her and begged her for forgiveness. He should have done anything to stop her from leaving, but he didn't, and now he was paying for it with their broken friendship and she was paying for it with the loss of her dream job.

**You could be happy, I hope you are**

**You made me happier than I'd been by far**

But then again, she could be happy. She had this infectious way of causing everyone to just smile. It always worked on him. Maybe this was fate, no couldn't be. They were meant to be together.

**Somehow everything I own smells of you**

**And for the tiniest moment it's all not true**

He got into his car inhaling her lingering scent from the passenger's side. He could smell her vanilla perfume and it was so strong it was like she was just there, and they had just stopped to grab coffee. It smelt like she would be right back and they were still partners. But that was no longer true.

**Do the things that you always wanted to**

**Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do**

She had once told him she wanted to learn how to ballroom dance. Maybe she's do that? She'd be amazing. She's so strong and elegant, she'd kick everybody's asses. But she was always self conscious that I'd see her dance. I hope she doesn't worry about that and follows her plans.

**More than anything I want to see you, girl**

**Take a glorious bite out of the whole world**

Yep, he hopes she does everything she ever wanted to. He wants to see her happy. Even if he's not the one causing it.

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**I hope you liked it iwannahamberger2! lolz im giving you 10,000 points. please review!!! lots of virtual prizes included. you can have whatever you want!!!**


	4. a little less 16 candles

**I confess, I messed up **

**Dropping "I'm sorry" like you're still around**

**And I know you dressed up**

**"Hey kid you'll never live this down"**

**'Cause you're just the girl all the boys want to dance with**

**And I'm just the boy who's had too many chances**

**I'm sleeping on your folk's porch again, dreaming**

**She said, she said, she said, "Why don't you just drop dead?"**

A week had passed before Elliot saw Olivia again. She went to a retirement party of an old buddy of theirs. He made his way over to her, "Liv, I'm sorry."

She looked at him incoherently. "huh?"

That's when he smelt it, she was drunk as fuck. He gave up and walked away across the bar.

About an hour later he spotted her again dancing with some wall street a-hole. He should be the one dancing. She'd never give him a chance after constantly forgiving him over and over again.

They were sitting at the bar now, his hand sliding up her leg under her amazingly gorgeous dress. He couldn't take it anymore. He stood crossing the room to them.

"Excuse me I have to take him home." Elliot said placing a hand on Olivia's shoulder.

"Him?" The man asked.

"Oh my bad, Oliver hates it when I do that, err Olivia." Elliot faked a small chuckle. "Had the operation about six months ago, she's still a little sore, wouldn't want her to get it messed up for nothing ya know."

The man looked like he was going to be sick, he nodded quickly and ran off towards the bathroom.

Elliot laughed, if she ever found out he called her a transvestite, he'd be dead. But then again maybe she thank him for saving her from a one night stand with some jackass, that she would never let herself live down.

**I don't blame you for being you**

**But you can't blame me for hating it, **

**so say, what are you waiting for?**

**Kiss her, kiss her**

**I set my clocks early 'cause I know I'm always late**

He tossed her over a shoulder and took her back to his apartment to sleep it off. They were sitting in the kitchen when he noticed she was awake and staring at her. "Elliot?"

"Ya Liv?"

"Do you hate me for this?" she asked slowly as a tear trickled down her cheek. Yep she was still drunk.

"No Liv, not at all. I don't like that you got drunk and let that guy touch you, but that's in the past now." he didn't know why he was carrying on this conversation when she wouldn't even remember in the morning.

"You're jealous caused id kissed him!" she squealed.

"ya I guess so Liv." he smiled looking at her pouting lips, why had he never kissed her before?

Olivia all of a sudden turned pale and threw up beside him.

Elliot looked down then back at Olivia, finally taking her in his arms and carrying her to his room where he got her changed and into his bed. "Goodnight Liv." he whispered as he kissed her forehead.

**Write me off, ****give up on me **

**Cause darling, what did you expect**

**I'm just off a lost cause**

**A long shot, don't even take this bet**

**You can make all the moves, ****you can aim all the spotlights**

**Get all the sighs and the moans just right**

**I'm sleeping on your folk's porch again, dreaming**

**She said, she said, she said, "Why don't you just drop dead?"**

**I don't blame you for being you**

**But you can't blame me for hating it, **

**so say, what are you waiting for?****Kiss her, kiss her**

**I set my clocks early 'cause I know I'm always late**

Olivia woke up the next morning, he head throbbing, in some one else's bed. She moaned and cursed to herself. Getting up and looking at her attire. Sweats. That was unusual. Then she realized, she was in Elliot's apartment. "Oh shit." she muttered to herself walking into the main room.

Elliot was in there reading the paper and drinking a coffee. He looked up as she sat beside him. "morning."

"Morning." she replied. "Uh, did we, uh, ya know…" she motioned towards his bedroom.

"no." he gave a small laugh, "You were drunk." He passed her some Advil and a glass of water.

She took it gratefully. "thanks for whatever you did last night."

"I just wanted to make sure you were alright." he replied.

"Don't, Im not worth it." She said sadly.

"Don't say that, you are. You're the only thing I got left. You mean everything to me Olivia." He swallowed hard. "I know you hate what I've become, a jealous, angry, overworking, egotistical bastard and im sorry." He leaned closer to her.

**(Always on, always on)**

**You said you'd keep me honest**

**(Always on, always on)**

**But I won't call you on it**

**(Always on, always on)**

Elliot kissed her, Olivia froze. The world around them was falling, she pulled away and screamed at the ringing noise.

Olivia shot up in Elliot's bed screaming at the alarm clock. Elliot ran in panicked.

She hit the snooze button and looked down, the kiss was just a dream.

**I don't blame you for being you**

**But you can't blame me for hating it **

**so say, what are you waiting for?**

**Kiss her, kiss her**

**I set my clocks early 'cause I know I'm always late**

**I set my clocks early 'cause I know I'm always late**

**

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_haha! evil me. just a dream. please continue to review if you want this story to continue! i hate doing that but i dont like to be in the dark on wether or not people want me to update or not_**


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